You Care

She walks into my room today, when all the others have rushed to their buses. She makes small talk for a while: this class and that class, college applications and problems with boys. I multi-task listening with cleaning, when suddenly her words capture my full attention.
"Mrs. Surprenant", she says, "you care."

I stop what I'm doing, look up and smile at her and casually say "Of course, I care."

She smiles and then repeats herself, "No, you really care. I mean, other people don't care the way you care. It's different."

I smile a huge smile at her and in all seriousness say, "I care because I love you all! It's not a burden, it's a joy!"

In response, she says, "Yeah, but I wish I could figure out how to thank you."

At this point, I am utterly humbled beyond words and all I can say is "You don't need to thank me. I love you because I have a God who loved me even more first."

I was reminded today "to always be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks for a reason for the hope that you have." 1 Peter 3:15.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

Why, do you ask, do I care how many licks it takes to get the center of a tootsie roll pop? Well, that would be because today was one of those school days where I wanted to run as far away from the school building as possible screaming “How it can only be TUESDAY????” Yes, I admit it, today was one of THOSE days. A day where my students saw the true nature of my inner beast and were warned to never awaken her again.


Now, the great thing about days like today, where everything that can go wrong or irritate you, does, is that you can blog about it! And it only seems appropriate that after sharing about the joys of teaching, that I would honestly admit the struggles of teaching.


You see, as much as I love my students, there are those moments when you wish they were you own children so you could hit them! And no, I don’t actually hit my children, but there are times when the idea of it or duck tape on their mouths is rather appealing. You see, there are times, when I want to look at my students and say “SERIOUSLY???!!! You are mad at me because I can’t stay after school the day you want me to because you missed the original school day? I’m here an extra 6 hours so you can make up time, though I was here for the first 8 hours, but you are the one who gets mad??”


And then there are the substitutes, who though I love substitutes, occasionally make me wonder why they even come? If you ever want to make me not like you here the three things you can do: 1) Make racist remarks about my students. 2) Call my students dumb. 3) Tell me how to do my job. Those are three sure fire ways to make sure that your name is added to the “no call” list. Now, I am not hard to please. All I ask is that you follow the directions the teacher left for you and be respectful to my students. It’s really not that hard!


And then there is that evil species that some like to call biology. If you teach biology or have a love for biology, I do apologize, but this English teacher hates it! You see, one of my responsibilities as an educator is to ensure that I help my students succeed in every way possible, even if it is not my designated specialty. As an ESL teacher, I frequently have to stretch my mind to assist my students with their other courses, but today was the day that my students got to see just how little Mrs. Surprenant’s mind can be stretched. Biology, biology, how I wish it was classified as the foreign language that it really is, so that my student’s could skip it and just take Spanish! Because, to me, biology is another language and I wonder how on Earth the state could expect my students to understand it, but then again, I also wonder why English as a SECOND language doesn’t get to count as their FOREIGN language credit!


Alas, all of this to say, that at the end of today I found myself sucking on the tootsie roll pops (that are meant to be motivation for my students, not me) wondering “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop??........I hope that the misery of my day brings humor to yours!

Pumpkins and Spice and Everything Nice

There's just something beautiful about the fall. The crisp air, the smell of apple cider and baking pies, the glow of orange pumpkins and changing leaves. I just can't help but love it all! It is a time of year I look forward to. I sincerely anticipate it's coming. Every September, my soul begins itching for the scent of fall. I stare at the trees and eagerly point out every hint of red and yellow I see. I begin dreaming of visits to the farmers market where I can peruse the aisles of prized pumpkins. I buy candles that will make my house smell like a warm pumpkin pie or glass of hot apple cider, even if I am not baking/drinking any. It's the only time of year I actually like the smell of vanilla and am willing to adorn my house with it's faint scent. There's something magical about it for me, because it really does make me feel warm inside. The little girl comes out in me as I happily step on every crunchy leave at my feet.  I eagerly track the fall foliage so I know when the ideal time is to visit the mountains of North Carolina. I begin concocting new recipes to try; what pumpkin flavored dessert can I make this time? It's finally slightly chilly enough to wear my beloved long sleeves and occasionally even worthy of a beef stew or bowl of chili! I can visit every coffee shop and know there will be a pumpkin spiced latte awaiting me there. If I'm lucky, there will even be a chocolate chip pumpkin muffin. What more could a girl ask for?

Forget the Coffee Shop, I’ve Got My Classroom!

I love my job! I really do. I know that may be hard to believe because so many of us usually hate our job, but I am blessed enough right now to love what I do. Now, don’t get me wrong it has been a long road to get to this place of beauty. Three years ago I was ready to quit teaching and go work in a coffee shop somewhere. I spent four years in college wondering why I was majoring in English Education in the first place. Teaching? Me? Isn’t there something bigger or better out there that I could do? Not that teaching isn’t a noble career, but for me??? Really??



Well, five years in and a second teaching license later, I am SO thankful that my whiny, questioning and feeble obedience has led me here. I am thankful that God constantly proves to me that HE really does know better. Four years ago, I aimlessly begin voluntarily teaching English as a Second Language classes. Now I do it full time, 40-55 hours a week and I LOVE IT!


I love waking up in the morning and looking forward to the day ahead of me. I love driving half an hour to get to my school, praying for the day God has laid before me and joyfully anticipating the students I will see. I love walking in the door of my school and smiling and waving at my students as they eat breakfast and I sign in. I love standing at my door screaming “Good Morning ________!” at the top of my lungs even though they are still several feet away down the hall. I love my pathetic and humorous attempts to greet them in their language and the joyful laughter that flows from them in response.

I love the smile that appears when they see me in the hall or when I visit their other classes. I love the overwhelming feeling I get during lunch tutorial when there are twenty of them  and only one of me. I love the panic and mayhem that occurs when I realize I still haven’t run my copies, I never ate lunch, I never called the hospital to help them schedule an appointment, my to do list is still 5 pages too long, but it’s too late because 3rd block started five minutes ago!

 I love the feeling of accomplishment I get when another class has come and gone and not only did they learn something, but they actually enjoyed it! I love the student who brings me to my wits end, only challenging me to be that much better the next day. I love that I teach the rare student who says “thank you.” I love that at the end of the day, work unfinished and exhausted, I look forward to facing the next day. I love that I carry my children home with me, exhausting my husband with all of my crazy stories. I love that thinking about them while I write this blog makes me smile. So, yes, I do love my job.




“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can imagine what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Aggh!! They've Invaded My Happy Place!!!

My favorite place on Earth is Target. REALLY, IT IS. Target is my "happy place." It's the place that I go to when I just want some "me time", the place I go when I am in search of the perfect pair of black pumps at the perfect low price, the place where all wonderful gifts can be found, the place where "orange-red" discount tags beckon me to draw near and it is even the place where I have successfully convinced my husband that BOTH the quality and price are better so all shopping trips are justified. :)

However, today was a day of disappointment for me at my local Target. I went in search of pens and as all good shopping trips entail, I made my usual "Tour de Target," where I browsed the wonderful dollar section, scanned the amazing clearance racks, tried on a few cute clothes, noted that the old is on its way out and anticipated the new fall arrivals. (By the way, I am in hunt of a cute purse so let me know if you find one ;)

And then it happened. As I redirected my tour in the direction of my original destination, I saw the signs. Ohhhhh, the dreaded signs.The signs that announced "Back to School Supplies This Way", with their bright, burning, orange & yellow "set me on fire now" colors.

I quickly glanced around and realized that amidst all of my wonderful clearance items were school uniforms, backpacks, lunchboxes, pens, pencils, planners, notebooks and a myriad of wonderful items that we teachers love for students to actually bring to school. The only problem is: it is JULY 9th!!! Yes, JULY 9th!!!So, WHY, I ask again, WHY must Target torture me? Do they really have to end my summer a month and half early with the ever present reminder that school will return?! I think not! I mean, is it really neccessary to start the school supply sale so early? Couldn't they at least wait until tax free weekend?

But alas, it has begun. I can just see the sneaky grins of parents who are hiding their secret joy at the idea of returning their crazy children over to us again. The visions of a resemblance of peace that must dance in their head. But as for me, I will very timidly enter stores from this day forward, knowing that around every corner lies a sign or a child calling me back to the endless chimes of "Mrs. Suprenant, Mrs. Suprenant, Mrs. Surprenant........."

Diggin' Through The Treasure Box

Recently I’ve been thinking about what I treasure. You know, what is really important to me. If you asked me on the street, I would say something like “God, my family and my friends.” But then I started thinking what if you didn’t ask me? What if you just followed me around and watched? What would you think I treasured? I came up with some scary, worthless and pathetic treasures.

You see, the first thing you would notice about my time is that I love to shop. I don’t really know why they say “diamonds are a girl’s best friend;” I think stores are. (I also think they are our parents/husbands/boyfriends worst enemy.) I am ashamed to admit this, but if you were to dig through my treasure box you would discover that I can be materialistic. I hate to admit that, but it’s pathetically true. You would find that I treasure shopping, decorating, throwing parties, owning cute things etc… You would find that I love online browsing, Pottery Barn catalogues that come directly to my door (thanks to the wonderful U.S. Postal Service), endless hours of window shopping and the occasional purchase of items that have caused my eyeballs to glaze over in worship. If you came back a few days later to see if I still enjoyed my newly purchased treasures, you would most likely find that the glitter has faded. So, what’s the problem? Did the item break or simply not coordinate well with the rest of my house/wardrobe/whatever?

The problem is that though none of these things are bad, in fact I love them, they should not be what I treasure. I should treasure the God who created me. I should worship Him the creator, not the beautiful things He has created. A scripture that I find most convicting in my life and also need great meditation over is Matthew 6:21 “where your treasure is, there will your heart be.” In this passage, Jesus is sharing that we should store up our treasures in heaven and not on Earthly things that moths, rust and thieves can destroy. As I dig through my treasure box, I find these words ring loudly true. You see, the items that I have falsely worshipped and brought home with me quickly grow dim and rust. Worse than the rusted treasure is the fact that I later question God on not giving me the “finer things in life” like my friends have. Not only do I worship my rusted junk, but I start comparing my rust with theirs. If I like their shade of rust better, I then start pouting like a two year old to God because it is so unfair that He gave them the flavor of lollipop I wanted. And I actually hope that God will respond to my temper tantrum and give me everything my ungrateful little heart wants.

The beauty of it all though is that God already has given me everything I need. He has sacrificed His greatest treasure, His own son, that I may have life and have it to the full. When I repent of my greed, selfishness and ungratefulness, he does not laugh in my face and send me away. Rather, he forgives and openly embraces me, the materialistic sinner. He is the God that I hope to find more and more of in my treasure box each day.

Relinquishment 101

"I have learned in my years on earth to hold everything loosely, because when I hold things tightly, God has to pry my fingers away. And that hurts. That hurts." ~ Corrie ten Boom

Relinquishment is something that I am unable to grasp. (Do you hear the irony in that statement?) I don't know how to let go. Like Corrie ten Boom, I hold things tightly and God often has to pry my fingers away. And she is right; the prying hurts.

So, what are my fingers and my heart so tightly clinging to? How about a family, a career, a home, traveling adventures and a myriad of other dreams? Though these things are not bad in themselves, in fact they are wonderful, I am consumed by them. I don't know how to relinquish them and the thought of not having any of them exactly like I envision can lead to worry, analysis, fear, panic and my personal favorite "a plan!" At this point, you might be thinking that these things are perfectly normal values and dreams. You might even be asking the questions: "What's the problem?" and"Why do you need to relinquish any of these things in the first place?

The problem is that which I refuse to let go of, is also that which I think has greater worth and value than God. You see, I have deluded myself into thinking that a house will keep me stable, an income will keep me safe and a husband will always keep me loved. The reality is that the very things I cling to for security are the things that keep me insecure. For example, the house that keeps me so stable is also the home that can lead to chaos any time a pipe busts or the dishwasher breaks. The career and income that make me feel secure and safe about my future also come with annual budget cuts. And, the husband that always makes me feel loved, also has the ability to break my heart and make me mad. The security nets that I cling to keep me awake at night because I am worried that they could fall out from underneath me at any moment and I NEED to have plan to keep my life in place!! Sound familiar?

If so, I hope it also sounds ridiculous, because it is! It is absolutely absurd that I place my hope and trust in tangible things that I spend more time worrying about than I do resting in!! So, why is it that I don't relinquish these things? Why is it that I cling so tightly? Though there are many plausible answers, I think the root issues are fear and trust. I am unable to relinquish because my fear is clinging to that which I am falsely trusting in. Rather than trusting in the God of grace, I trust in broken cisterns. I trust in the broken cistern to hold my life's supply of water and later wonder why it has all leaked out.

So, what is the solution? Simply put: Jesus. On my own I will never be secure or safe. I will always worry and always be afraid, but with Jesus I have hope because He covers my weaknesses and my failures. That's not to say life will be easy. It will be a long, slow journey, but that's okay because I have officially enrolled myself in relinquishment 101.