The Newborn Diaries: Chapter 1 Someone Should Have Told Me

No one tells you about the dark side. Everyone gets so excited and tells you how much you will love your little baby. “Aren’t you so excited?” they ask. Well, yes, I was.




Then it came.


I left the hospital in a state of excited exhaustion. The first week went great! I was exhausted, but content to rise every 2-3 hours to feed my little one. The adrenaline kept me going, even though every inch of my body hurt and I could barely move.


Then it came.


I hit the wall. One week in exactly, my adrenaline crashed and I could focus on nothing but the exhaustion and pain. I could barely walk, getting out of bed or off the couch required the assistance of my husband, I was leaking from every end imaginable (more on that later) and I ached like I had been hit by a truck. Twice.Hit at least twice.


Then it came.


I got thrush, which I inevitably gave to my baby. My baby wanted to be fed every 45 minutes, which meant I bled and cried every 45 minutes. Yes, every 45 minutes my cracked milk makers were producing enough blood to make a girl want to scream.


Then it came.


I got the baby blues. I had never even heard of the baby blues, until I got so depressed I thought I had post-partum. I cried constantly, kept wondering “What have I done?” and could not attach to my baby. It got so bad, my husband rented Breaking Dawn, from the Twilight series, (which he hates) to cheer me up. I sobbed the entire first 20 minutes of the movie.


Then it came.


Eventually, it started to get better, which is why I’m writing these Newborn Diaries. Each entry is a way for me to reflect and relax. I can process the day, look back and laugh. I hope that each entry strengthens other mommies to make it through their day and know they aren’t alone. But, I’m telling you folks, it’s not all coos and giggles.