They call it pregnancy brain. I thought it was a myth or worse, just another symptom. Don't let your pre-pregnancy intelligence fool you. It's not just another symptom. It's an all-powerful, omniscient monster set out to slowly destroy your brain cells one forgetful moment at a time. Picture the infamous egg commercial: (Normal egg) This is your brain. (Fried egg) This is your brain
on drugs during pregnancy. If you aren't quite getting the picture yet, let me give you just a few fun side effects of brain loss at a rapid rate:
- You go to the grocery store and you buy not one expired item, but a whole cart full. Your husband comes home to inform you that you have purchased not only expired bread, but also expired lettuce and a moldy not-so-fresh pineapple. To make matters worse, the cart full was from Costco so your mold is growing in bulk.
- You complete 108 accommodation testing forms for your job. You make copies and mail them to the school testing coordinator and county-wide ESL office. You get an email telling you that your forgot to specify how many students in a room counts as a separate setting. Copies are mailed back to you. You re-do all 108 copies. (My calculator says that you have now filled out a total of 216 forms.) One week later. You get an email that opens with the following line: "I hear you are pregnant. I hope this does not send you into labor, but you have to re-do them again. You forgot to do a separate form for each test." You now must re-do all 108 forms a 3rd time, but each form may only list one test, so that triples the work. Doing the math at this point is just cruel and unusual punishment.
- You make your students hand copy a graphic organizer. After they finish, you realize you made copies of it the day before.
- You wake up exhausted and are so thankful that today is Saturday. Three hours later you realize it's Tuesday and you should be in 2nd block teaching. Just kidding. I haven't done that. Yet.
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