Conversations with a pregnant woman:
Me: "Louis, it's really dark in here. Can we get a standing lamp or something to put in here?"
Louis: "Jamie, turn the lights on."
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Me: "We have a ham if someone can bring a turkey."
Emily: "I can bring a turkey."
Me: "So, I'm bringing the ham and the turkey?"
Emily: "No, I'm bringing the turkey. You're bringing the ham."
Me: "I thought you just said you were bringing the turkey."
Emily (and everyone else in the room-all laughing hysterically): "She did!"
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Me: Louis, put the sock down. Drop it! Tug, come get your dog!!
(Louis is my husband. Tug is my dog.)